In Love and War
by n3rual
Summary: Love always seems to show during times of great stress, times of war provide examples of bravery and daring. What happens though, when love draws you into war? Tonks/Lupin DH consistent. Character Death.


Welcome to In Love and War, my first story after a long hiatus, and a view of Tonks' mindset during the battle of Hogwarts. Characters, settings and events belong to JKR.

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Crying. Always crying. Nymphadora "Tonks" Lupin had always hated babies, she couldn't stand the crying, the baby smell (which everyone told her was a lovely, magical smell, but to her it just smelt of sick and baby poop), and worst of all the tiny baby faces, they were always far too cute, and not in a good way. She hadn't expected to be standing over a crib looking down at a baby boy whose hair was changing rapidly in front of her eyes. She hadn't been expecting to be alone.

Of course, Tonks understood why her husband had run off. To him the baby was a miracle, a blessing in this time of war, he didn't see the burden that his wife did, he didn't see the horrible problems that came with bring a baby into the world. She hadn't considered it at an earlier stage, that their differing ages could pose potential problems. She was mature, she was confident and she knew she could handle a werewolf, even on a full moon. But Tonks had failed to consider that things could change in her future, that it wouldn't be all romance and wine and dinners (even if it had never exactly been that to begin with). She hadn't expected to lose the evenings of rough sex and primal instinct; she hadn't expected to get pregnant so soon.

In actual fact, Tonks had never really considered pregnancy. She hadn't expected to stare down at a tiny baby, occupying an equally tiny crib in the home of her mother while her husband ran off to tell people of the news, to volunteer himself for more of the war that she knew she should be fighting. She was an auror, not a mother. She knew nothing of caring for children, for raising them, but she knew how to love, she knew how to fight, and right now, all she wanted was her husband, no baby, no war, just Remus.

It wasn't to say that Tonks didn't love her child, she did. But it was the wrong time. Poor Theodore Lupin, named for his grandfather still in a fresh grave was destined not to have a bright happy future, but one surrounded by war stories and loss. He'd grow up knowing he was named for a dead man, a man he'd never meet, he'd grow up knowing that he was born into an uncertain world full of unpredictable violence. And Tonks hated that. _Perhaps_ she mused _it's not babies I dislike so much, perhaps it's change, loss, war, pain... of course... babies do sort of exemplify that..._

Her head wasn't clear and she knew it would get worse the final battle was approaching rapidly. She knew it was coming, everything had to end.

It was longer than she thought it would be. It was a month; maybe a short while longer before Remus left her and Teddy, rushing back to Hogwarts and Harry Potter's side.

Tonks had always held a great sympathy for the boy, Harry, she knew his life had been hard and would only get harder, but at that moment, she despised him, hated him, he'd taken her Remus away, again. No, that would not do.

He was crying again. Always crying. It was all Tonks could do not to smother her son as she sought out her mother, she had to go, she had to go fight. One look at her mother, a nod and an embrace they said their goodbyes not knowing if it would be the last time.

She reached the school, a blaze and scared. She stood in the Room of Requirement, heart beating furiously in her chest.

'_I thought you were supposed to be with Teddy at your mother's?'_

'_I couldn't stand not knowing –' Tonks looked anguished. 'She'll look after him – have you seen Remus?'_

Harry only got halfway through his explanation of where Remus could be found before Tonks had darted passed him, making a break for the grounds. She didn't get far, she hadn't anticipated the sheer number of Death Eaters that had infiltrated the school. She was stuck on that particular floor for the moment.

Hexes and curses and Unforgivables flew around her, she was at a loss for a moment, her auror training taking more time than it should to kick in. Tonks dodged a few spells spun, hiding behind an old suit of armour she shot out several stunning spells, she didn't care too much for death, she'd seen enough in the past year to last her a life time.

She didn't stay long in the one spot, she gasped and jumped and ran, heading for the grounds, she had to find him. She had to.

Death was all around her, bodies lay, unmoving on the floor whether they were dead or simply stunned she couldn't tell, the sheer quantity made sure of that. They weren't all Death Eaters though, her own people, people she knew and cared for lay there, and she wanted to stop, to check to see if they were alive, but she couldn't she couldn't stop, she needed to find Remus, to beg him to come to safety, or to fight alongside him, whichever happened, she needed to be with him.

Cold air hit her face, biting into the flesh and causing her to gasp. She leapt to the side as a curse flew her way, tumbling down the stairs the guarded the entrance to the school. Tonks lay, winded and stiff for a moment, hoping that no one would come and curse her while she lay there. She blinked a few times, time was going exceptionally slow, everything seemed to last forever, and she panicked, had she just been laying there for ten minutes?

She sat, then stood, then spotted him. He was across the grounds fighting, she couldn't see who it was, she didn't care, it was him. Tonks ran towards him getting closer and closer, "Remus!" she called, and he was caught off guard barely managing to get out of the way of a particularly nasty curse. She stopped, panicked for a moment, and he turned away, intent to finish the duel into which he had been pulled.

Tonks felt useless, for once in her life the battle seemed to go on without her, where she would normally fuel it, encourage defence and clumsily act in defence of others it seemed that everyone else had paired off. That no one needed her. And then she was needed, she was engaged in a duel of her own with a masked Death Eater.

She hated that mask; it scared her, and not knowing who was behind it, who she could end up killing on the field bothered her more. But she fought, fought with all her might while watching her husband out of the corner of her eye, "Tonks? Where's Teddy? You were supposed to stay with him!" Remus was calling to her, obviously not as surprised to see her as he had been before. Surely he would have expected her to show up? She couldn't abandon her husband to the battle, no, she had to fight alongside him.

"He's fine, with my mother" She paused a moment trying to stun the man that she was fighting, she missed, and jumped to the side to avoid the killing curse only managing to by an inch.

"You should have stayed there Tonks. You were safe there" He ran to the side he was closer to her now, but still so far away.

Tonks shook her head, "You couldn't expect me to sit at home, with our son while you risked your life now could you?" She dove to the side, "I love you Remus Lupin, I couldn't not fight beside you."

They were getting sloppy, they both knew it. Even if they disposed of the Death Eaters they were fighting now, there would be others to replace them. It seemed that more and more death eaters were prevailing, but what could be expected when they were fighting children?

Remus yelled a word, and finally, the Death Eater he fought collapsed, with a cheer he ran intent on helping his wife. "I love you too Tonks! Now, let's finish this." And they did, together they managed to bring down the Death Eater quickly, two against one was hardly a fair battle, but that didn't bother either of them at the moment.

Free of the fighting even if just for the moment, they embraced, lips meeting, hand travelling to each other's bodies. It was only a few seconds, but that was enough, one curse, one Unforgivable curse, and they fell, together in a mass of green light.

Teddy Lupin awoke with a start, crying, always crying.


End file.
